Written by Visual Thinker. Posted in Articles, Technology

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Published on June 30, 2016 with 2 Comments

make it work

It was just unveiled this weekend. The tech world loves it. Consumers are buzzing and early inventory is already sold out. We finally have it: a well-made cell phone…with exceptional call quality!

Yeah, right…

But shouldn’t that be the next revolutionary breakthrough, the next hot trend for cell phones? Haven’t you had it with chintzy phones that offer up plenty of bells and whistles but mediocre call quality?

Listen, I don’t want my cell phone to do more. I want it to do the basics right. Yes; I fully understand that my sister’s phone has a downloaded application that enables her to see into the future. That’s wonderful. But it’s a good thing she won’t have to call into the future because, knowing her phone, the sound quality would suck.

  • I don’t need my phone to be any smaller. The number pads are getting so tiny, manufacturers are now competing for the tech-nerd crown of “Most Congenial Keys”. I’m a grown man. Give me some real buttons to push or I’ll get crabby.
  • You can send me text mail. You can instant message me. You can send me an email which I would access from the web browser. But apparently the one thing you can’t do is…HEAR ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU. Blame the phone? Blame the service? The consumer doesn’t care. They just want to enjoy their conversation.
  • As my Uncle Bob taught me, “Moving parts = parts that wear out.” Don’t you just love the term “slider phone”? It’s cool because it has the word “slide” in it. I like to use the word in sentences like “I’m gonna slide right over to the Sprint store because I’ve only had this phone for three weeks and the damn part that moves is already loose.”
  • Manufacturers should ditch the Swiss Knife mentality. “It’s a (bad) phone! And a camera! And a timer! And an FM radio! And an arcade! And an anemic mp3 players! And…” Rather than these trinkets, a built-in bottle opener would be far more practical. We’d use it to open beers and get drunk after seeing our through-the-roof monthly bill.

Bottom Line: If phone manufacturers and service providers were less concerned about how much we could fit into a single device and refocused on call quality, it would usher in the dawning of a new millennium. Peace and prosperity would spread across the land. War, pestilence, and dropped calls would be a thing of the past. And cracking open a cold one would be easier than ever.

– Joher Coleman

(Joher is an actor and communications consultant. Learn more here.)


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Comments for CELL PHONE BREAKTHROUGH! are now closed.

  1. Right! And well said.

  2. I drive 105 miles one way to work… I loose cell phone coverage in 3 places that I shouldn’t, both ways.. depending on the place, my voice is clear to choppy…
    I can totally relate to this article…